Party Tips and Advice
Reading these tips and advice will help you to know what to
expect when attending a swinger lifestyle party. These articles are from experienced members
of the Tampa Bukkake Crew. A special thanks to Phoenixxx Blaque for much
of the information below.
Please also read our
Frequently Asked
Questions for more information. |
Party Etiquette
- Atmosphere. If the party happens to be in a public place
(like a hotel) refrain from loitering outside the room, as it could
raise suspicion from the management. You may go outside briefly (to go
to your car or smoke a cigarette) and then come back in. If it happens
to be held at someone's residence, respect the host and his/her home.
Treat it as if it were your own! Throw all trash and debris away, and
if you must go somewhere private in the home (like a bedroom) ask first,
so your host will know that room will be used. Keep the noise down,
loud discussions and laughter can spoil the atmosphere for sex!
- Expectations. It always amazes me how much people expect
without any contribution. What I mean by contribution is the door
donation and social interaction. We ask for a donation at the door to
help pay for expenses. We also expect that you will be social at the
party. Wallflowers do not add anything to the enjoyment of a party and
create a boring atmosphere. Sitting back and waiting for others to
play, then joining in is fine, but what if everyone did that? Ladies
should never feel like they must play with everyone. Sex is a
byproduct of party people that feel comfortable with and connected to
other guests. The party is only as good as the attendees!
- Hygiene is ultra important! This can and will cost you future
invites, if ignored... An unwashed, smelly, sweaty body is foul to
both sexes. Bathe properly and pay attention to genital areas! If you
keep yourself shaved, it is a good idea to shave smooth before the
party, as day old stubble can scratch (this is also true for guys and
their faces... If you do oral on a lady, shave before the party - no
one likes stubble) Dress nicely, as if you were going on a date, wear
some aftershave or perfume, the opposite sex is always more attracted
to a well groomed person...
- Party sober. Any chemical vice you partake of is going to
hamper the fun you have (by affecting your performance). Having a
couple of beers is fine to loosen up, but getting drunk always leads
to problems. ABSOLUTELY NO DRUGS!!! Save that kind of partying for
after the party to avoid any liability to the party hosts and other
guests. Speaking from experience,
people who approached me on drugs and wanted to play, were a pain in the ass. I avoided them out of disgust and
they didn't get an invite back, on the basis of stupidity.
- Attitude is everything. If you have an aggressive nature, leave
it at home. The parties are always a no pressure atmosphere. Act like
a rabid dog in heat and you will quickly get thrown out. Relax. Take
it easy and have fun. The ladies appreciate and like patient,
pressure-free men. Remember, no means no (the first time). Most
parties are social events also, so don't be a wallflower, you will
have the chance to talk with cool and interesting people (and have
sex!). Make the most of it and keep it fun, you will enjoy yourself
more!
- Don't show up empty handed. Bring your own condoms and
beverages... Do not expect your host to do so unless specified. Make
sure the condoms are durable (like Trojans...Lifestyle and Durex
condoms BREAK!). Bring lube and baby-wipes for easy clean-up. Throw
your used condoms in the trash.
- Respect the personal property of others. When playing in a
home, be aware of the furniture! Breaking beds, leaving condoms laying
around, wearing high-heeled
shoes on furniture, or encouraging a squirter on a fabric chair or bed
that others must use - these are all examples of BAD party etiquette...
Remember, the host is the one who has to live in the premise after the
party is over. Show appreciation and respect, your donation does not
cover cleanup and replacement of broken items...
- Have FUN and keep it FUN!
|
What to bring to a party
Ladies
I recommend getting a gym bag to carry everything in... It doesn't have to
be fancy or expensive, just able to carry stuff from point A to point B....in it, I recommend the following..
1) A change of clothes for after the party. Loose casual stuff is best.
2) Baby-wipes or paper towels, hair scrunchy (for ladies with long hair!)
Plus any bathroom clean-up items like soap, shampoo, towel, and so
forth...
3) Condoms (good ones, not cheap ones that will BREAK!!) and lube (Very
important!!! Stock up on more then one bottle, as one always seems to
disappear just when you need it). I recommend AstroGlide, but NO OIL
BASED LUBE! They can lead to infection!
4) Plenty of fluids like Gatorade or water. (those two are best to prevent
overheating)
Gentlemen:
1) Baby-wipes or a wash cloth (to clean up before and after)
2) Beverages (alcohol may impede your performance!)
3) Condoms (good ones like Trojan, not cheap ones that will break!!!) and
lube. I recommend Astro-Glide, but NO OIL BASED LUBE! They can lead to
infection! |
Contacting other swingers online
1) Regarding Instant Messages and Email...when contacting someone
online for the first time, don't be aggressive right off the bat... Don't
start off your letter or message with "I want to f*** your p**** and
have you s*** me while I shove my finger up your a** and my c*** is this long"!
First of all, you don't know the person well enough to talk like that and
most who take that approach either get the IGNORE button or their letter
is clicked to the trash immediately! Be a gentleman and use common sense.
Introduce yourself, describe yourself, ask polite questions, and see where
it leads... You wouldn't walk up to a woman on the street and talk trash,
so don't do it online.
2) Photos help garner a response from others, but one common mistake a lot
of men make is just sending shots of their manhood...BO-RING! It doesn't
give the lady a correct idea of what you look like... If you want to
protect your privacy, take a body shot with your face blanked out or wear
sunglasses or a hat. Just don't send a penis pose, women get them all the
time and its not as impressive as you think! We want to see as much of you
as possible, even if you are fully clothed... This also applies to women,
show more then a body part and you will get a better response from others.
3) Privacy and discretion is VERY IMPORTANT and should be respected by all.
To keep your email discreet, establish a free anonymous mail address (like
Yahoo or Hotmail). Don't give away any personal info. If you attend a
sexual party and you learn someone's online handle or real name, DON'T
SHARE IT ONLINE WITH OTHERS!!!! THIS IS A SERIOUS BREACH OF TRUST AND
RESPECT THAT COULD LEAD TO PROBLEMS!!! Ask permission about posting
whatever info you want first... Most like to be discreet and don't want to
be barraged by tons of unwanted mail and instant msgs from strangers.
Respect and common sense should be easy folks.... Don't do anything that
could endanger the privacy of others, or cause them unnecessary grief...
We all want to party, but we want to feel safe doing it. A privacy breach
could have a million unwanted consequences. |
How to care for your sex toys
- Do some comparative shopping! Toys can be very expensive. Compare
online stores with local shops, just keep in mind the shipping and
handling for online purchases.
- Storage.... Where will you put them between uses? The more you have,
the more space you will need. Especially if you have different types (I
will explain that in a moment). You can use a drawer, a gym bag, an
old trunk, a box or something you can keep out of the way from kids...
- DO NOT STORE DIFFERENT COLORS TOGETHER! They will bleed on each
other. Keep all colors separated. Even if you take two different ones
on a short trip to a party, wrap them in a towel or plastic to protect
against color bleed...
- Vibrators wear out faster if you use expensive batteries. Use the
cheapest regular batteries for longer toy life.
- Jelly toys look cool, but BEWARE...sometimes the material will
irritate vaginal or anal tissue making it burn like fire! When washing
jellies, use only very mild soap, as jellies soak up whatever they
come in contact with! DON'T CLEAN WITH ALCOHOL! It can cause severe
irritation and reduce flexibility in rubber/latex.
- NEVER put anything oil-based inside a pussy. The pussy cant wash the
oil out and the oil will cause infection. Check the labels of what you
buy, some lubes even put a spermicide in with lube. This can irritate
both females and males. I recommend a water-based lube like WET or
Astroglide.
You can purchase Astroglide at drugstores in the condom section much
cheaper than at an adult bookstore or sex shop.
- Don't share your toys with any one you don't know or hasn't been
tested. After each use, wash thoroughly, dry and put away..
|
Shaving Tips
From Phoenixxx Blaque - she has been shaved
perfectly smooth for years!
This applies to those who are both partially and fully shaved... To
keep it looking smooth and free of red bumps, be diligent about shaving
everyday! Day old stubble isn't sexy and scratches during sex or oral.
Shaving daily helps your body to stay used to to hair being removed. I
recommend a good men's razor (they shave closer) like the ones with
removable blades (like MACH 3). Shaving cream is better then soap too, as
soap becomes slippery and the blade wont pick up the hair. Do not shave
directly before sex, as this is what causes the red bumps... When you
shave, you open up pores and friction will cause the redness! Wait an hour
before sex or an activity that has to do with touching the area (this also
holds true to exotic dancers who do lap dancing). After you shave, apply
an ointment like Neosporin to the area to help seal the pores against
infection and irritation. If you don't have Neosporin, here is an
old dancer trick....apply stick antiperspirant...thats right...it works...and you
wont get those red bumps. |
Sex during your period
This is a sensitive subject...what to do if you want to
have sex but its that time of the month and you don't want to make a mess.
I am going to share a secret I was told by other porn actresses who were
faced with that dilemma when filming. Go to a crafts store, pick up a mass
of sea sponge (home depot carries them... People use them a lot for
painting), break off a medium sized portion, boil to sterilize and soften,
then drain away excess water and insert. Viola! No mess! Don't worry, you
will be able to get it out later... Sponges are very absorbent and will
soak up mass amounts of liquid. When the sex is over, just remove and
throw away. |
Sex in Adult Theaters
Many people are attracted to the idea of extending their
playtime to a adult theatre setting. The prospect of anonymous sex is a
fantasy for both sexes. I strongly advise against ANY female going alone
into a theatre, especially late at night to play (it is like tossing a
rabbit to a den of hungry wolves!). Always go with an escort of some kind
(contact the Tampa Bukkake
Crew)! That way while you play, someone can
keep a lookout for you and keep the overly aggressive men at bay. Men, if
you bring your wives or female friends, it is important that you stay
alert at all times while the female is playing. Be her security guard! If
someone gets out of line, reprimand them immediately and make them back
off. Before playing in a theatre setting, investigate as many as possible
to see which one suits your standards...is the theatre clean? nice
seating? couple friendly? What kinds of people do you encounter there? The
investigating will be well worth it later when you play. For the ladies
who play, please keep in mind that at all times YOU are in control! Do not
afraid to assert yourself. If someone approaches you or touches you in a
way you don't want, tell them so! It is your body and you shouldn't have to
tolerate any un-pleasantries for the sake of wanting fun. Don't be afraid
to voice the rules of the game upfront if approached by anyone... It
actually helps them to know what is allowed and what isn't and saves you
from having to become offended.
For the men who play: If you happen to be in a theatre at
a time that a couple enters and starts to play, be courteous and
aware that playing with a couple is a privilege, not a right! Be a
gentleman and polite. Use a no pressure approach. Slow and easy, ask
before you touch what isn't yours. Use protection with anyone you meet and
refrain from playing with those that don't use protection (the hand for a
minute is better then AIDS the rest of your life). If others around the
lady start to get pushy or aggressive, speak in her defense! Once the play
is over, Thank the couple for allowing you to play... This will encourage
them to come back (or get your number for private play elsewhere).
Phoenixxx's guidelines on Theater play - What I did
and how it worked!
I used to go to theatres and this is how it was... I would
go in with my boyfriend, we would find a seat in the dark theater and then
he would get up to go buy a coke. By the time he got back, I would be
surrounded by men! I would then politely tell the men what was allowed.
Have them line up, and if they didn't have protection, to go get it, or
else no play. One by one everyone was satisfied... If someone got pushy, I
would tell them to get in the back of the line as punishment and cool off.
If someone was satisfied and wanted to go for round 2, they would have to
get in line again, that way at least everyone got one chance, and no one
was allowed to hog all the action for long periods of time. If I
encountered a fellow that I could physically tell was not going to be able
to finish, I would ask that fellow after 10 minutes to take a break and
start on someone else. That way it kept the flow going and his ego wouldn't
be bruised by his lack of performance... It saved face! I used the number
of men around me as security, they would back me up if someone got rude!
By the way, if the lady you are playing with is doing oral on you, a
flavored condom is always a huge plus...and NEVER put on a condom that is
coated in spermicide for her to do oral play (tastes AWFUL and it makes
your mouth numb)! Condoms with special tips aren't too great either
(almost trigger your gag reflex). Cumming in a ladies hair is pretty rude
(unless she says it's ok, don't do it) Drunks, people on drugs, or those
that I could tell were unwashed were those in the theatre that I avoided,
so keep that in mind. Being clean and sober is essential. Theatres are
always busiest at late hours, especially on the weekends. If you don't
want the potential of a feeding frenzy, or just want too ease into things
slowly, go during the day or early night during the week. Things to take
inside the theatre: hair scrunchy, condoms, a wet rag in a plastic bag
(clean-up), lube and baby wipes for clean up! |
|
|
|
|